Some of the best lessons in life are taught through stories. A man today scared the living daylights out of me. I was in my driveway in my car looking at my phone. I looked up and saw a man on our front porch steps staring at me. He saw me startle and showed me his cards as a tree trimmer. I reluctantly rolled my window down partially because I felt like I recognized him. The second sentence out of his mouth was an exact replica of the first sentence.
“I live and grew up here in this city.” I guess that was supposed to make me feel better about talking to a stranger. I guess he really wanted me to feel better because he said it twice.
“Your trees need trimming.” I then told him we recently did them.
“But, they trimmed your avocado tree all wrong. You probably trimmed your trees last summer, but that’s the wrong time to do avocado trees.”
When he could hear I didn’t want to trim trees I had recently trimmed, he said, “OK, but if people tell you they can do it cheaper at certain times of the year, it’s a lie. It costs the same amount to trim the trees regardless of the time of year.”
He pushed his card through my partially lowered window, and the exchange was done.
Well, the actual communication was done, but my fantasy self created a whole different conversation after he left.
My fantasy self yelled back at the man:
“Your first mistake was thinking you could lie to me and get away with it. YOU were the man who trimmed my trees last time. I recognized you right when I saw you (after almost having a heart attack). I found out back at the tree trimming that you do not live in my town. You told me back then that times were a bit slow. You could trim the trees cheaper now because of the slow time of year. You would give me a lower price. You knew exactly how to take a few steps to help the avocado tree, and it was fine to trim it then.”
While I liked the job he did last time, he just shot down any opportunity to work with us again.
The Learning Club lesson for the day is never lie. Never lie to get work. Never lie to impress someone. Never lie. Never lie to anyone, but especially to a former auditor. While you might not think auditing is very exciting, an auditor gets very skilled at smelling the lie. I almost feel sorry for someone who lies to me. Almost!